two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
