just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
