I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
