And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
That's how pantless uber rides happen
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize