your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
