there's paper in my vomit.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
