I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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