i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
