You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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