She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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