You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
