She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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