she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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