need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
