Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize