peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
