If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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