4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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