i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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