No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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