I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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