and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
