i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
