You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
