If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
