Moan for me like Helen Keller
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
