i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
