I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
