Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
