She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
