the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I believe in your delicious
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