I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just want to make out with him forever
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
