the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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