You just made me feel so damn special
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
love makes seman taste better
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
