oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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