Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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