also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
