so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
