She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Fuck me I smell like cheese
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
