I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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