He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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