We need to rekindle our bromance
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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