Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
