Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
