It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
