found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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