So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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