If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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