I'm drive I can fine osifer
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
