chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
