I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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