only if we run a train.
done.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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