Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
