I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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