I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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