Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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