she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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