Apparently you make a good broom.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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