Duck Duck Cougar?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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