it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize