He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
