Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
